How can we tackle the negative ‘strong woman’ stereotype?

Why you should try writing morning pages to boost your wellbeing
September 14, 2022
I Can’t Afford Therapy – What do I do Now?
September 14, 2022

How can we tackle the negative ‘strong woman’ stereotype?

Previous England rugby gamer Kat Vendor shares her experience of ‘healthy reproaching’ and also just how she handles it

As a previous England rugby gamer, I have actually constantly been a ‘solid female’. It was my task to be the best and also fittest I can be to win, which implied being literally muscle to be at peak efficiency whenever I tipped onto the pitch.

Elite females in the showing off limelight encounter a substantial quantity of stress to carry out and also look a particular means, which additionally suggests our bodies frequently obtain evaluated severely– specifically in my line of sporting activity. Females rugby gamers have actually continually needed to handle tags like ‘manly’ and also ‘unfeminine’. Doubters have actually put a lot more worth in the means we look instead of the means we play, without understanding the unfavorable impact this carries our psychological health and wellness and also body self-confidence.

I have actually gotten a gush of online abuse for many years, criticising my muscle look as a female. Culture still connects muscle mass and also stamina with manliness– a dangerous, obsolete stereotype that quits girls and also females from getting involved in sporting activities and also believing in their very own skin.

Kat Vendor

The very first time I got on the internet hate concerning my look remained in action to a video clip of me doing a bicep crinkle I had actually published to Instagram. As an individual instructor, it is necessary in my profession to show the workout, and also to reveal the appropriate method for others to comply with. That’s the silver lining of social networks, it makes training abilities obtainable to a broad target market intending to far better their health and fitness. Yet a person chose to react extremely adversely, sending out a video clip of them gagging at me. In the beginning, seeing that response truly knocked my self-confidence. I could not comprehend why a person felt it essential to be so painful– it also made me take into consideration coming off of social networks entirely.

I reviewed it with my companion, that recommended that I transform it around and also reveal individuals stamina in reacting and also not allowing it influence me. Out of an adverse experience, I had actually been offered the possibility to make women stamina a lot more standard. I can utilize my system to in fact increase understanding concerning the misuse solid females obtain, and also with any luck make a distinction in a favorable means.

It has actually taken some time for me to reach a factor where I am much less afflicted emotionally, since it is something that can try your self-confidence and also you do get ill of it. But also for me, it was nearly like increasing down on the hate. Currently, if a person remarks ‘you resemble a guy’ on any one of my photos, I react with one more image where I look truly muscle, simply to reveal that not just are they incorrect, yet there are additionally repercussions for someone stating something aloof that can adversely influence a person’s psychological health and wellness.

Great deals of individuals really feel a particular feeling of privacy on social networks, where they can state what they such as without taking any kind of duty. By calling out individuals’s hate on my system, it reveals that you can not simply state something and also be anonymous. 99% of the moment when I repost an adverse remark I have actually gotten– not being unpleasant back to them, yet merely highlighting the remark and also reacting ‘in fact, females can be solid also’– they remove their remark anyhow. My hope is that it may make them reconsider doing it to somebody else in the future.

Kat having fun rugby for the England group

The suggestion is that by establishing a fine example, females will certainly really feel a lot more positive in their bodies without the public opinions to look a particular means. There weren’t as lots of sports females in the media when I was more youthful and also coming through right into the limelight with the England group, so I made use of to attempt and also conceal my muscle mass for concern of being evaluated.

Currently, there are a lot of even more favorable lady good example available, which is wonderful for more youthful females desiring accomplish in sporting activity, and also that simply wish to really feel even more favorable concerning their bodies. There are a growing number of females in the public eye and also on social networks that are carrying out in a manner that females wish to carry out also, since it’s not everything about what your body resembles– it has to do with the incredible points it can do.

So, just how can we remain to take on the unfavorable ‘solid female’ stereotype? There are 4 points I constantly remember when dealing with down and also conquering on the internet hate:

1. Know it’s their concern, not your own

It’s your body, your system, and also your selection to do what you desire with it. You can never ever please every person, and also you should not attempt to.

2. Border on your own with favorable individuals

There is absolutely nothing even more effective than maintaining a close circle of helpful and also similar individuals around you.

3. Simply maintain doing what you’re doing

If training tough and also sensation solid makes you pleased, do not offer it up for the benefit of an unfamiliar person’s point of view.

4. Bear in mind that you have the control over it

Block, record or respond– nevertheless you select to manage on the internet hate, you have the power to make that choice.

There will certainly constantly be days where your confidence in on your own and also your capabilities is reduced. Yet establishing the durability and also the favorable way of thinking to climb over other individuals’s viewpoints and also concentrate on yourself will certainly offer you stamina in the understanding that you can handle specific scenarios. Being solid isn’t almost being literally solid– it can make you really feel emotionally more powerful also, and also offer you that critical body positivity to really feel comfy in your very own skin.


Adhere To Kat on Instagram.

If you are dealing with the results of on the internet misuse, recognize that assistance is offered. Discover more at Get Safe Online, and also if you’re wanting to talk to a specialist, browse through Counselling Directory.


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

About Counselling Services Coming Soon - Newsletter Signup

Hey, wait!

We are launching very soon

So if you'd like to know more about services and be added to our upcoming newsletter please enter your details below. Thank you.